Find
by AuthorandArtist1025
Summary: Songfic. Roger contemplates his relationship with Mimi. Rated for themes.


Hey guys.

SO, I had been listening to the song Hero/Heroine for like 5 hours straight, and then I read Aang: The Last Indie. OMG IT WAS SO WEIRD! And guess what? I won't tell you, you have to go read it. Yes, I am evil.

I want to thank Twilight Rose2 for kind of inspiring me to write this fic by reading her story - Aang: The Last Indie. If you like Avatar: The Last Airbender, go read her stories. They are simply fantastic.

BTW, If you can't tell, this story is completely in Rogers POV.

Enjoy!

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I stare out the window at the busy New York street, deeply immersed in my thoughts. Last night, Mimi and I had gotten together. I had pulled her outside, trying to get away from my friends' loud voices in the Life Café. Me and Mimi…we had kissed. It was…amazing. Now there was no turning back, no matter how unsure I was.

_It's too late baby, there's no turning around_

_I've got my hands in my pocket and my head in a cloud_

_This is how I do_

_When I think about you_

I was scared. I AM scared. I don't think I'm ready for this. And Mimi knows it. She thinks she knows me. She thinks she can coax me out of my hiding place. I didn't think she could. I didn't expect her to be able to. But she did. In a way. She started to. She's different than the others. Then April. And I'm scared.

No one knows me. Or so I thought. I am a closed door, as Collins would say. I don't let anyone in. If I did, I would just get hurt. But she was able to turn the doorknob, a little. And it shook me.

_I never thought that you could break me apart_

_I keep a sinister smile and a hold of my heart_

_You want to get inside_

_Then you need to get in line_

_But not this time_

_Cause you caught me off guard_

_Now I'm running and screaming_

So far, this relationship is scaring me, and at the same time, I feel as if I am full of electricity. It would seem like it would work out. Two people who both are HIV positive. A druggie and an ex-druggie. A musician and a stripper. We are compatible. Okay, the last part, not so much. But do our occupations really mater? The druggie part is what's worrying me. What if I can't help her? She needs help. She needs to stop using. She'll die if she doesn't. Soon. And I'm the only one who can save her.

_I feel like a hero and you are my heroine._

I need to stop thinking. I need to escape. No, I'm not talking about suicide. That would be stupid. My friends need me. I could never do that to them. I couldn't do that to Mimi.

Mimi. Oh god. She's beautiful. Her long, curly hair and her gleaming brown puppy dog eyes. She's gorgeous.

_I won't try to philosophize_

_I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes_

_This is how I feel_

_And it's so surreal_

Am I ready? April only died a few months ago. That's the biggest reason I'm not sure about this. I don't want to lose another person I care about. I can still see her pale blue eyes, staring into space, not a bit of life in them. Her dead body lying on the bathroom floor, surrounded in blood. I can't deal with that. Not again.

_I got a closet filled up to the brim_

_With the ghosts of my past and the skeletons_

But Mimi…she's different. She cares. She wants to help me understand. She wants me to learn how to live everyday like it's my last. But why? Why does she care so much? I don't get it. And it's left me wondering.

_And I don't know why_

_You'd even try_

_But I won't lie_

_You caught me off guard_

_Now I'm running and screaming_

Mimi is so thin, she seems like she would just melt in the rain. The drugs are wearing her down. And she knows it. That's why she lives to the extreme. She knows that she could die any day now. She wants to spend every second she can living like there's no tomorrow. And for that, I think I love her.

_I feel like a hero and you are my heroine_

_Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?_

She makes my heart melt. What heart, right? I'm a rocker living in a freezing cold apartment building with my best friend, we can't pay the rent, I have AIDS, I write songs for a living, and I hardly show any emotion at all. I thought life wasn't worth living. My girlfriend was dead. We were starving artists, Mark and I. We were freezing, and one of us had AIDS. Life sucked. Why on earth is it such a bitch? But Mimi changed my opinion on that. She made me realize that there's more to life than just living. You have to understand how special life is. How lucky you are to have wonderful people in your life. Sure, sometimes life sucks, but it's fantastic at the same time. You look into the eyes of a newborn baby, see the wonder in their eyes. You look at the ocean crashing on the beach, at the birds flying high in the deep blue sky. Life is incredible. And I didn't realize that until I met Mimi.

_And I feel a weakness coming on_

_Never felt so good to be so wrong_

_Had my heart on lockdown_

_And then you turned me around_

_I'm feeling like a new born child_

_Every time I get a chance to see you smile_

_It's not complicated_

_I was so jaded_

_And you caught me off guard_

_Now I'm running and screaming_

I will help her to get through her addiction. I did it. I've been of drugs for 6 months. If I can do it, she sure as hell can.

_I feel like a hero and you are my heroine_

_Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?_

I drink up the last of my coffee as Mimi walks in the door. She prances over, lightly kisses me on the lips and whispers, "You need to get out of the house. Collins, Angel, and Mark are waiting outside. Wanna go to lunch?" I nod, slowly. She smiles. "Get dressed. We'll be waiting."

_(I feel like a hero and you are my heroine)_

_And I feel a weakness coming on_

_Never felt so good to be so wrong_

_Had my heart on lockdown_

_And then you turned me around_

_(Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?)_

_I'm feeling like a newborn child_

_Every time I get a chance to see you smile_

_It's not complicated_

_I was so jaded_

She turns to leave, but I grab her wrist and pull her into a kiss.

"I love you."

She smiles sweetly. "I love you too, babe."

_(I feel like a hero and you are my heroine)_

_And I feel a weakness coming on_

_Never felt so good to be so wrong_

_Had my heart on lockdown_

_And then you turned me around_

_(Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?)_

_I'm feeling like a newborn child_

_Every time I get a chance to see you smile_

_It's not complicated_

_I was so jaded_

I grin, something I haven't done in a very long time. This is going to work out.

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Some people were having trouble realizing that this was the end. ROLLS EYES Thats it guys. There's no more to this particular story. It's done.

There you go. I wrote that in like, 2 hours. I'm very pleased with myself. Like it? Don't?

R+R!

No Flames please!

Copyright:

Hero/Heroine belongs to Boys Like Girls

Rent belongs to Jonathan Larson, may he rest in peace.


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